Bear Maulings Sweep PFN News Headquarters

Contributed by Scud Langley

Broken Bow, OK – A rash of severe injuries have plagued PFN News Headquarters in the past two months, leaving employees scratching their heads.  Several have been treated for lacerations and deep bruises and many have threatened to quit.  Ted Mosely, chief editor of offline content had this to say:

We’re all confused and saddened by these recent events.  Doctors say the injuries are consistent with bear maulings, but no bear maulings have been authorized by PFN News or any of its subsidiaries.  We intend to hire a very expensive private investigator to get to the bottom of this issue.

This issue remains, as of yet, unresolved.

In other news, playground equipment has been added to our onsite bear range so employees can bring their children during lunch.

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