Never Look a Whispering Horse in the Mouth

Contributed by Steve Dbrockavitch

“Dude the Evian’s here!” “Sweet!”

Littlefield, TX – If you ask around any small Texas town, you’ll be hard pressed to find a sympathetic ear for organized labor.  But in the small ranching community of Littlefield, collective bargaining flames have been lit, and are blowing their way across the prairie.

It all began when rancher Nelson “Bucky” Toller hired self-described “horse whisperer” Amethyst Moon Soul to help him with some unruly horses.  “I just thought they was a pertick’ly orn’ry lot, but I woulda never guessed they was s’down-hearted.  Beat all I ever saw.” said Toller in a phone interview.

“This Moon feller said he was a jam up whisperer, said he’d have that riley buncha ponies sittin’ in my lap and purrin’ like house cats in two days.  That sounded pretty good to me so I flew ‘im out from, Stalingrad or whatever he called it, said all the best whisperers come from there, wherever it was.  Then I turned ‘im loose on my heard, and he went to whisperin’.  He’d whisper somethin’ to them and they’d go to whisperin’ back to him.  Next thing I knew he was a-writin’ things on a clipboard and collectin’ hoof prints on little cards.  Come back to me sayin’ my heard was now a local chapter of the International Brotherhood of Beasts of Burden – said they took a vote and they all whispered that that’s what they wanted to do.”

When asked about the temperament of his newly organized herd, Mr. Toller said, “Oh they do real fine ‘cept they cain’t carry a man over 155 pounds, and they cain’t work n’more than 2 hours at the time, what with all the breaks they git.  They really like that organic kale that I have to put in their feed now though.  That and the Evian spring water that I truck in from somewhere – fact they git plumb giddy when it’s feedin’ time, I never seen s’much frolickin’ and prancin’ about.  O’ Ame Fist, or however you say his name, says they’re all in good spirits – he has a whisperin’ session once’t a week, says I cain’t see it but they’re all smilin’ on the inside he says.  I’ll have to git out there to that Stalingrad place sometime.  He says out there the horses are smilin’ on the outside too, dangedest thing.”

Since their initial founding, the growth of the IBBB has been exponential.  Apparently there has been an uneasy, disgruntled mood in the equine community, lying just under the surface, hindered by the language barrier that Mr. Soul Wind has managed to bring down.  The IBBB is looking to expand their reach and have meetings scheduled with seeing-eye and police dogs in the coming months.


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