Student’s Answer Not Reaganesque, Fails Test

contributed by Scud Langley

Tennessee – Rarely does national news come from the small town of Dunlap Tennessee, but an uproar at the local junior high school has garnered widespread attention.

Dually Craig, a local 8th grade student was taking a history test on the presidents of the United States when an incorrect answer about Ronald Reagan raised concerns.  In the test, the question asked, “What was President Emeritus Ronald Reagan’s middle name?”  Instead of the correct answer “Wilson”, Dually wrote “William”.  While grading Dually’s test, the history teacher Mr. Sandlin noticed the egregious answer and immediately gave the student an F.  After discussing the matter with the principal, both agreed that expelling Dually from school for two weeks would be best for the community.

“This was more than just an incorrect answer on a test,” said Principal Feely, “Dually’s answer showed how morally degraded our youth have become and we can’t just let that slide.  President Reagan was and still is the greatest voice of pure American conservatism and Godly virtue to ever walk this earth, and I refuse to stand idly by while one of our very own slanders his good name.  We don’t put up with that kind of commie vitriol at Daniel Boone Junior High.  Not now, not ever.”

As Mr. Feely began to tear up, he was pressed for further comments.  His only reply was a shaky but confident, “God bless America, and God bless Ronald Reagan.”

When Dually’s parents were asked for their thoughts on the situation, his father Tim Craig replied with, “We raised our boy better than that, and I ain’t about to put up with no good-for-nothin’ left-wing thirteen-year-old.  If you ask me, he should have been expelled for a month for that kind of behavior.  But don’t you worry; durin’ his two weeks off, he’ll be shovellin’ cow turds while he thinks about what he did.”  Mr. Craig stated that until he goes back to school, Dually will be referred to as “Wilson”.

After hearing of the situation, national talk radio host Rick Lundy threw in his thoughts the next day on his program, “Don’t doubt me folks.  This kid’s rhetoric was a dangerous attempt to paint President Reagan as some kind of Bozo the Clown.  Karl Marx is probably giving him a big thumbs up from his grave.  Whatever punishment he got was too good for him.”

PFN News was unable and unwilling to speak with Dually about the issue.

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