Government Floods Nation With Distrust

contributed by Scud Langley
Nebraska – Conspiracy theories have not been uncommon throughout the history of man, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight of those who formulate extravagant explanations of unknown phenomena.  Few receive media attention, but those that raise serious concerns tend to grapple with the imagination of the public at large.
Such is the case for Cozad, Nebraska native, Webster “Gargoyle” Kurza.  Mr.
Kurza (by his own account) has discovered that major twentieth century floods
caused by dam failure in the United States were actually caused by the United
States Government.  Though the reasoning behind the government’s supposed
involvement in such disasters was never explained, Mr. Kurza posted the following statement on his website wwww.makintaterscount.com :
“Look, there is no question about this:  February 2, 1972 – Buffalo Creek in West Virginia, June 5, 1976 – Teton River in Idaho, and November 8, 1977 – Toccoa Creek in Georgia.  All were government con jobs.  If you think I’m making this up, just look at the numbers.  February 2, June 5, November 8; 8 + 5 + 2 =15.  1972, 1976, 1977; 7 + 6 + 2 = 15!!  There is no way that those numbers are just a coincidence.  And if you need more proof, the letters in Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, and Jimmy Carter
(all presided over 1 ‘disaster’ each) can be rearranged to spell ‘jinx dam, flood man, chide terry craig’.  That only leaves rrr.  What does that stand for?  What else?  Radically Redefine Republic.  And if you have to ask who Terry Craig is, then you might as well just ask for your oat bag to be attached to your head and get back to plowing.  How long is it going to take before we wake up and smell the government corruption?  How many government cover-ups have to be exposed before the sheep in this country wake up?  Sure, we’d all like to believe that ‘storms’ cause ‘dam failure’ and ‘natural disasters’ can just ‘happen’, but that’s just not the truth.  Don’t believe everything ‘they’ tell you.”
A social network frenzy has been created with his theory, garnering the support of tens on Twitter, Facebook, Myspace, and even Xanga.  In his hometown, the Rhine County Sheriff’s Office has been flooded with accusations of suspicious activity around the dam area of the S.F. Gernheim Reservoir.  Sheriff Doug Goolsbee stated that in the past week his office has received upwards of 11 calls, which is twice the normal amount.
Mr. Kurza currently lives with his parents in government housing and is unemployed, having drawn unemployment and disability for the past 7 years due to his “slightly hyper colon”.  When his mother, Diane was contacted and asked to comment, she only sobbed quietly into the phone for 45 seconds before hanging up.  His father, Reese, was busy testing a local levee with a Geiger counter and could not be reached for comment.
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