Contributed by Scud Langley
Washington – The Pledge of Allegiance is once again under fire as activists have called for the removal of language deemed offensive. The International Governing Network for the Regulation of Terminology (IGNRT) has determined that the phrase “for which it stands” is offensive to handicapped people who are bedridden or confined to a wheelchair. Lead Consenting Chairperson, Constance Duvey-Morosovitch led a group of activists to march on city hall in Seattle and demand that the pledge be changed so that the offensive language would be removed.
“We are all Americans!” Ms. Duvey-Morosovitch shouted to the thirteen people standing below her at the base of the steps. “We, the IGNRT will not stay by the wayside while wheelchair bound persons are berated daily through our dogmatic recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance. When we say, ‘and to the republic for which it stands’, we are saying that standing is more important than love and acceptance. Those who can’t stand are being excluded by our hate speech! How am I supposed to explain to my two children, Strafer and Tolerance that reciting the Pledge is a means of publicly humiliating those who are less fortunate? Our forepersons guaranteed in the Constitutions of Independence that nobody would ever be offended. How can we honor that commitment with such hateful language in our very own Pledge of Allegiance? We will do everything in our power to right this atrocity. We are the IGNRT and we have a voice!”
As municipal workers entered and exited the building, they were met with jeers from IGNRT and demands to change the Pledge of Allegiance. This activity continued until 6:30 PM when one of the secretaries from the front desk came out and informed the mob that Seattle city hall had no power to change national sayings or mottos. The group then made their way over to the courthouse where they continued their protest until police were dispatched.
As of the writing of this report, six of the fourteen protestors were arrested for breaking and entering, larceny, assaulting a judge, arson, and public defecation. Public officials refused to comment on the ordeal.